Today in Netflix recommendations:
Romantic Dramas Featuring a Strong Female Lead
Violent Foreign Action & Adventure
Critically-acclaimed Cerebral Sci-Fi & Fantasy
Dark Psychological Thrillers
Witty Independent Crime Movies
Dear Woot,
I’m a big fan of you guys, but you’re kind of starting to piss me off. What the hell is up with this? Or this? Just in case you forgot: half of the population are women. Maybe you should consider that when writing your copy, and try not be giant assholes. Thanks.
No love,
Susi
EDIT: Now they’re just taunting me.
Dear Penny Arcade,
Why do you insist on doing those self-indulgent and masturbatory “cardboard tube samurai” comics? I suppose there must be some people that read and enjoy them, but the internet is full of idiots so I wouldn’t really take that as an endorsement.
Love,
Susi
After a packed Yelp event at the Jackalope and drinks at Mugshots I tagged along to see the Terror Tuesday showing at the Drafthouse. This week’s big draw was Never Too Young To Die, which will take me at least a few weeks to get over. Highlights included:
- Gene Simmons as a hermaphroditic villain
- a crowd yelling for Ragnar (the villain) to give someone “the finger”
- George Lazenby doing his best with some of the most obvious dialogue ever
- a theme song for John Stamos’ character (STARGROVE! STARGROVE!)
- some of the worst edits I have ever seen in a professionally done movie
- bad guy lackeys who look like a cross between the Wheelers from Return to Oz and something out of Mad Max
- also, these lackeys drive motorcycles that look like unicorns
- unicorn-cycle fights on the freeway with battle axes
- the most hilarious seduction scene EVER (NSFW)
- a fight in which there was completely uncalled-for nipple biting
- Gene Simmons’ terrifying tongue
- a weird little cameo by Robert Englund
There’s actually a review up on Something Awful (of course!) that gives a pretty good rundown of the movie. You know, in case you don’t want to spend an hour and a half actually watching it.
Wow. Just…wow. This particular issue made me laugh way more than any X-title in a LONG time. I realize it’s probably because of Warren Ellis’ writing, but hopefully they can keep at least a little of that charm whenever he leaves. Here’s my absolute favorite set of dialogue:
Brand: Did you just say ****ing to me?
Beast: Scott, you just said ****ing to my…um. Actually, what are you? “Girlfriend” doesn’t sounds quite…
Brand: “Xenophiliac experimentation partner”?
Beast: Scott, you just said ****ing to my girlfriend.
Cylcops: I wouldn’t say anything like that.
Wolverine: Cyke, I heard you from down the hall. Don’t do it again, ok? It’s like catching a rerun of “Happy Days” and seeing Ron Howard picking up hookers.
You can’t help but giggle maniacally at that.
In the recent past it seemed like most X-titles have been about the newest bad guy and what crazy, earth-changing shit they had planned. I get that it’s a superhero comic so that’s kind of the point, but I still would like to see some characterization there. With Joss Whedon’s run on Astonishing the characters really started to come alive again. I mean, two of my favorite characters now are Cyclops and Emma Frost. Let me repeat that in case you missed it: CYCLOPS AND THE WHITE QUEEN ARE MY OTP. I never in my life thought I would say that. Cyclops used to be the biggest Gary Stu, but then he started sleeping with Emma and has become the resident badass. I ADORE what Joss has done with him, and I’m glad that all of the X-titles seem to be adhering to this new vision of him. (see also: X-Force) Even Emma is no longer a caricature, but a strong woman with interests and flaws just like anyone else. Here’s another bit of dialogue to show you why I love these two together:
Cyclops: Emma? Apparently I said “****ing” to Abigail Brand. Does that sound like me?
Emma: Well done, darling. That snot-haired cow had it coming. I’m very proud.
Cyclops: God, I love you.
You see what I mean? If you have any love for the X-Men at all you’ll go pick up a copy.
I found this little gem on Wikipedia when googling “OOC” yesterday. I just got the first book from the library and between finding out that the author went to BYU and this I’m a little frightened to start reading it.
Say what you will about the Twilight series, but I have to say I’m impressed.
I mean, the author got what is essentially a self-insertion fanfiction PUBLISHED. And TONS of people are buying it.
Plus: the vampires are sparkly. SPARKLY! Like an overzealous raver with glitter or something! Bram Stoker is surely doing cartwheels in his grave.
I don’t really get embarrassed by what I like nowadays. Everything has it’s place. Yes, I can and do enjoy expensive chianti. But sometimes…I just want that Arbor Mist Blackberry Merlot. In the same way, I won’t pretend that Twilight is a masterpiece of fiction, but it was entertaining and reads really fast. It’s my equivalent of taking a romance novel to the beach for a summer read. Only this romance novel has vampires. And werewolves. And the most irritating and snotty teenage girl you will ever read about.
And I would have missed the sheer brilliance and hilarity that is sparklepires if I hadn’t read it.
I am eagerly awaiting the rest of the books from the library. I am confident that they will contain even more lulz and post fodder.
Uploaded by sushi the great
Dane’s birthday was Tuesday. I wanted to do something nice for him, so I thought “Hey, I’ll get him cookies!” But then I got sort of excited and, er, went a bit overboard.
I ordered four dozen cookies. For the two of us.
I have a tummy ache today and we still have at least three dozen left.
