Fresh Fish Served Daily

If I’ve ever engaged you in a conversation about video games, you might already know that until recently I had a burning hatred for turn-based RPGs. Fans of the genre generally came to the unflattering conclusion that I was some kind of drooling idiot who couldn’t strategize my way out of a paper bag, and also that I hated fun and probably puppies as well. I’ve come up with my own theories for my dislike of the genre over the years. Usually these revolved around one of my other great passionate hatreds, which is elitist fanboy retards that dismiss all other opinions as stupid. While that certainly didn’t help matters, I’ve now determined that some of the problem was that I do not have very much patience. Link can just run over, stab the octorock, and that’s that. There isn’t any agonizing over what hat you need to wear while fighting the octorock, or whether or not the thing will kill you before you get a chance to heal.

Paper Mario was the first turn-based game that I liked. The combat system was a simplified version of the standard turn-based system, so I could sort of ease into it. I also liked that I could mash buttons at certain times to dodge enemy attacks or increase the power of my attack. It made me feel slightly more in control, and less like I just had to sit there while the enemy took their turn attacking me. Last, a linear storyline that didn’t take itself too seriously. The serious and dramatic storylines were what initially turned me off of Final Fantasy games.