Fresh Fish Served Daily

Dear Netflix,

I thought we had everything worked out. Up until a couple of weeks ago our relationship was idyllic. I would send you a disc one day, you’d send a new one the next day, and I’d get it the day after that. You were so reliable. But now I don’t know what’s going on. Sometimes I don’t get anything new from you for a week. Are you…seeing someone else? I like you a lot, and I don’t want us to break up. Could you maybe put some effort into being on time again, like you used to? I’ll keep checking my mailbox until I hear from you.

Love,
Susi